this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much
why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist
yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter”
what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady
He’d be taking bribes from the fire
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them, first and last pages
1. My Ass
my favourite is the very last one
My mom say that everyone has a beautiful side. So I guess I’m a circle.
cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.